Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase “forgive and forget.” For years, I figured that’s what a “good Christian was supposed to do.” Isn’t that what Jesus alluded to in our parable from Sunday in which the slave was forgiven all his debts and he was in turn to offer that same forgiveness to the person who owed him money?
Perhaps. But the more I’ve found myself in dicey situations, and the more stories I’ve heard from others, I can’t support the notion that we are to completely forget what’s happened when forgiveness is offered. Because if we are to just “forget” what’s happened, that seems to suggest that in forgiveness, you’re giving permission for someone to continue in sin rather than holding that person accountable.
So instead of “forgive and forget” what would it be like to “forgive and let go”?
The two sound quite similar. But consider these words from Pastor Craig Koester: “Forgiveness is not acceptance of the past. Forgiveness is the declaration that the past will not define the future. With that gift of forgiveness Christ Jesus opens up a future that is defined by love.”
By offering, and receiving, forgiveness, we are consciously letting go of whatever it is that happened so that that event won’t continue to dictate us (or our future interactions with another person) into the future. In short, forgiveness is freedom from that hurt, pain, guilt, or shame, so that we can live into a renewed future, and possibly a renewed relationship.
So as you continue to ponder what it means for you to live forgiveness as a disciple of Jesus, ponder these questions this week:
- Is there something that you did, or something that happened to you, that you’re hanging onto? What would it take for you to let go of that?
- What makes offering forgiveness challenging for you, if anything?
- What makes receiving forgiveness challenging for you, if anything?
Living in a way of forgiveness takes practice, time and time again. But as we practice forgiveness as a way of life, we will receive a foretaste of the freedom and healing that God desires for us, and for all people.